THE PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE

Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline, 
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press one repeatedly.


If you are co-dependent, please ask someone else to press two.


If you have multiple personalities, please press three, four, five, and six.


If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.


If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.


If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.